I used to read the Old Testament and be dumbfounded at the Israelites and their ability to really muck up the sweet deal they had with God. One minute, they’d be in tight, receiving some huge, miraculous blessing, and then the next minute they’d be making idols and God would have to inflict disease on a third of them just to get their attention again. How could they be so stupid!? It wasn’t until later in life that I realized how prone I am to follow in their footsteps.

It’s the same with the New Testament. I often find myself cheering at how Jesus put the Pharisees and Sadducees in their place, sometimes making a whip, sometimes calling them names, like white-washed tombs. Then I realized that the Pharisees and Sadducees of his day were really what we would call church people today—a group I’m a part of. Again, I wonder at how prone I am to the same kind of behavior.

What were the Pharisees and Sadducees doing that Jesus chastised? He summed it up in Luke 11:46 when he said, “You pile burdens on men’s shoulders but don’t lift a finger to help them.” In a word, they were legalistic. They turned the Old Testament into a rule book and created hundreds of standards for behavior that God never intended and then required people to follow them. How do we know God didn’t intend that? When they tried to hold Jesus and his disciples to the word of the law, looking for ways to trap him, He answered them with the same Bible they were using against him, demonstrating that Biblical commands are subjugated to love. Yes, the woman caught in adultery had sinned and deserved to be stoned, but Jesus looked beyond the application of the law to her real need and chose instead to give her the grace that would help her grow into the woman she was created to be. The woman at the well deserved condemnation for her illicit lifestyle, but Jesus instead offered her living water. Jesus and his disciples broke the Sabbath commandment multiple times (picking grain, healing people), but Jesus rebuked their accusers by pointing out that people are more important than the Sabbath.

Jesus seems to value people over rules. He blatantly stated it in Matthew 22:36-40 when he said that the entire law is based on two things: Love God and love people. By Jesus’ own words, if we do those two, we will be doing everything the law requires.

Then why do Christians keep adding more rules? There is no Biblical command against drinking alcohol or using words Christians call “profanity”, but both are regularly condemned by the church. What is the answer Jesus would have given? Getting drunk is a bad idea because it tends to damage self and others, so if violates the concept of “love people”. Is it ok to call someone a “freaking idiot” or a “fucking idiot”? I’ve heard Christians justify the former but condemn the latter based on the word used, but neither is loving. It’s not the word that is unloving, but the message conveyed. If I call “bull shit” when someone gossips about my brother, is that wrong? It’s loving. Yet Christians get more upset about the word I use than the gossip.

We pull verses out of the Bible to justify one thing and condemn another, often splitting hairs or drawing far-fetched conclusions to fit our agendas, but miss the fact that Jesus set a very different example and even condemned the practice. For example, there is huge controversy over divorce within the church. Jesus seems to condemn it in Matthew 19 for every reason but infidelity, but he’s also answering a question from the Pharisees (church people) who were trying to justify divorce for any and every reason. Some churches and denominations condemn it outright, others draw exceptions for things Jesus didn’t, like physical abuse. How do we come to a Biblical answer? We follow Jesus. Jesus was taking a harsh stance against the Pharisees’ view of divorce because, in that culture, the practice left women vulnerable and, in most cases, with no other choice than prostitution to support themselves. Obviously, that was far from loving. Getting space from an abusive spouse, including divorcing him or her, is loving for the abused spouse, and for the abusive one, who clearly needs to feel the consequences of the abuse to be motivated to change the behavior.

As a divorcee, this hit home recently. I was that guy that would look down my nose at divorced people—even those in the church—and wondered at how they could be so wrong. My attitude was condemning and judgmental, much like the Pharisees. Never once did I take the time to listen to their stories and attempt to understand why and where they were coming from. It never occurred to me that they might be hurting and need care.

When the church acts as the morality police of the world, she misses her true calling. When the church meets people where they are, hears their story and does what is loving, she is most like Jesus.

I am not devolving into moral ambiguity. In fact, I can make a case that the church has gone there already by drawing battle lines around theological stances and, thereby presenting a confusing moral compass to the world. Not to mention that Christians often demonstrate contempt for their brothers and sisters with differing opinions, and I’m pretty sure that’s contrary to the idea of love. Which denomination is right? Can a denomination be right when it fails to follow the most basic command of its leader? I love what my pastor, Joe Wittwer says: “Denominations are just groups of people that have all agreed to be wrong about the same things.”

Rather than reducing morals, the law of love reduces legalism. In fact, holding up Jesus’ command addresses all behavior, including things not found in the Bible (like pornography, gender change, smart phone usage, music choices, etc.). Rather than stretching Bible verses into something they’re not, we can make a solid case against anything that isn’t loving.

The Bible is not the black-and-white rule book the church often makes it out to be. We would do far better as Christians to get to know people, see and hear their hearts, and encourage them to do what is most loving, not what is most Biblical. By doing that, we would truly be Biblical—at least according to Jesus.